Self Worth

In my study this week I decided to focus on Self Worth. I feel I, as well as everyone else, needs to study more on this topic. Girls especially. We can be so hard on ourselves sometimes, make us feel less than what we really are. It's easy to forget what we have been taught about being a Child of God. And sometimes, even though we remember, it is hard to grasp the concept. At least for me. I found a good talk on this subject. Read it HERE. But I wanted to share a paragraph that hit me between the eyes!

Look beyond Yourself

Do your little flaws bother you? If your hair doesn’t look quite right, is your whole day ruined? The small things you dislike about yourself probably go unnoticed by those around you. Forget about them by trying to—

• • 
  Shift the focus to others. Instead of dwelling on your weaknesses, look for the good in those around you. Point out those good things to them.
• • 
  Listen to others. Listen to understand, not just so you can prepare a response.
• • 
  Remember: the people around you are probably just as insecure as you are; they are all painfully aware of their weaknesses. So don’t, for a second, think that yours are necessarily worse than anyone else’s.

I needed that. Sometimes I am so focused on ME that I forget to build others up. I used to be really good at finding the strengths in others. Being my "bubbly" self. I hardly had time to wollow in my own sorrows. When I moved to college I guess I was sick of being the "Loud, Annoying, Bubbly...etc" girl. So I became quieter, more judgmental and calculating. How awful! I am on a quest to being the Happy Go Lucky girl again. I found it is not always a bad thing, and I was a better, happier person when I was focused on building others up! We all have faults, we all have insecurities, and we all want to do better. What is holding us back? Do something for someone else this week. Not your husband, child, or someone you normally serve. Go out of your comfort zone and "Shift the focus to others..."

Stop comparing your hair, nails, clothes, house, body to Pinterest and other sources. There is nothing wrong with making goals and wanting to be better, but as soon as we compare and get discouraged, we almost give up. THAT is the downfall. If anyone hasn't read the book by Dieter F. Uchtdorf, "Forget Me Not" Read it. Now. It is short but sweet. It lifted my spirits and gave me some needed motivation to be a better person. Not just to dream, but to ACT.

Have a wonderful day, look in the mirror and smile, knowing God made YOU. He loves YOU. You are worth it!

"Wherever you are, whatever your circumstances may be, you are not forgotten. No matter how dark your days may seem, no matter how insignificant you may feel, no matter how overshadowed you think you may be, your Heavenly Father has not forgotten you."
                                                                           - Dieter F. Uchtdorf
Something to ponder!

XOXO-Shanna

Grandma Schumacher

I don't even know where to start. My heart is heavy. I am missing her a lot tonight.

My sweet Grandma passed away the night before Easter. I hope it was painless.
I awoke on Easter Sunday to MacKay saying, "Shanna, your Mom is trying to get ahold of you, It's your Grandma, she died last night." I jumped up instantly awake, my mind whirling, "Which Grandma?!" I asked, "Schumacher" he said. I was in shock, I didn't know what to feel, I grabbed my phone and called my Mom. It didn't feel real. She confirmed what MacKay had told me, no tears came, just numb. After I talked with my Mom, I walked into the living room where MacKay had Brent, he heard me coming and set the baby down turned and welcomed me in his arms. I sobbed.

I still can't believe she is gone. I didn't even get to say goodbye. Snipits of my last conversation with her a few days earlier ran through my mind,  "We will come visit this summer, you can meet Brent." "I miss you." "Get feeling better." "I hope you like your new home." "Goodnight, I love you."

I felt sick.

We had just made it home the day before, Saturday, from Cokeville with a lot of family from Cheyenne that had traveled to be at my Shower. Lindsay and her family were heading home Sunday until the news. That day went by as a blur, as my sister, Lindsay and her daughter, Avery came to stay with us, instead of travel home to Las Vegas, to attend the funeral. We spent the day booking flights to Denver and packing to make the appropriate weight limit, and laundry, the next day Her and I packed up our kids and left for the SLC Airport. Devin headed home to Vegas for school and would join us the day before the funeral. MacKay had work and couldn't get away.

I won't even mention the airport experience!

We were met at the Denver Airport from my Mom and her sister, Aunt Cindy. My Mom had traveled back with Cindy and her family from Cokeville to Cheyenne, my Dad would join later for the funeral. We drove straight from Denver to Cheyenne just in time to make the appointment with my Grandma's bishop to arrange the funeral. Due to my grandma having some health problems the past few months, she had everything planned and in order in case this happened. She had in her plans of the funeral that she wanted my Mom to talk, and my uncle Tony. She also wanted Me, Lindsay and my Mom to sing a song of our choice at the funeral. We chose my favorite hymn, "I Know That My Redeemer Lives"

The next few days were filled with family, and planning. Even though we were brought together because of this awful circumstance, we were grateful for the time we got to spend with family that we never see. My Mom asked Lindsay and I to help her dress my Grandma. I was really freaked out and nervous. When we got there, and I saw her, I started to cry. I hadn't seen her since Andrew left on his mission, a year and a half ago! In that moment I missed her more than ever. My fears went out the window as I stared at my beautiful Grandma. She was no longer in pain, she was with her Father above. Dressing her was the most spiritual experience I have ever had. The last service I could do for her. It was the closure that I needed, as well as my Mom and Sister. When we were saying goodbye, I cried for her not getting to meet Brent. It still haunts me. We should have made the time! I ached for her to hold my baby. Then I realized she was here, seeing him, and would watch him grow through the years. My sister and I had joked that she was with our other children up in heaven, looking after them. "Send them down Grandma!!" Lindsay had said. We laughed for a long time.
My Mom told me that when they went into her room at the Home she had just moved too, sitting on her made-up bed was some mail and things, on the top was the announcement of my sweet baby boy. I cry every time I think of it. She was so proud of him, and so wanted to meet him and kiss his cheeks.
Her funeral was beautiful. My uncle Tony did a wonderful job telling about her life, and some funny memories. A great tribute to an amazing woman. We sang, and it touched my heart like no song ever had. I knew in the moment, more than I ever had, that she was happy. I know my Redeemer Lives!
My Mom couldn't have done better with her explanation of the beliefs we shared with my Grandma. Told some fun stories, and made us laugh and cry. The funeral was a perfect memorial for her. She would have loved the flowers, and the people.
My Grandma was a wonderful woman. So loving, always wondering about her kids and grandkids, and great grandkids. She was so proud of who everyone became. So loving to everyone. Kind, sweet and gentle. She had the prettiest hands, nails always done. She had her own smell, that I miss a great deal. I remember she always had treasure candies in a bowl in her kitchen, or starburst jelly beans. I remember her love of animals, and all her knick-nacks.
She is missed everyday, especially by her kids. We will see her again someday, she will be with her husband Jim, and her parents! I think it is very fitting that she died a few hours before Easter Sunday. How amazing would it be, to get to meet your Maker on Easter? It brings tears to my eyes. How incredible.

I love her so much, and can't wait for the day I get to see her again.
I love you Grandma. Watch out for us, would you?

Missing Molly...

Meet Molly:

 She is one of my best friends. ever. Guess where she is?

NASHVILLE. 

yup....Nashville TN. On a mission. And even though I am so glad she is there, I miss her terribly bad! I can't tell you how many times I have picked up the phone to call her, and realized that she wont pick up for 1 year and 1 month! I have wanted to drive past her house in Orem to stop in and see her so many times it just isn't funny anymore!

Anyway, here is me wallowing in my sorrows for the day. I.MISS.MOLS. I miss her laugh, her dumb questions, her innocence, her freakout moments, her almost too spiritual view of everything. (; the way she can't say No to ANYONE, and our lessons on me teaching her to be a little meaner...hahaha. I miss her. just her. 

Here are some pics for this mournful day! 

I wanted to end on the whole gang! 1 year needs to go by fast....by the time she gets home, my baby will be almost 1! I can't wait for Aunt Mols to meet my little one. 

HURRY HOME MOLS! But have the time of your life out there! I know you are a great Missionary, and I love hearing from you! Love you!

XOXO- Shanna

My Dear Aunt Liz

Last night, there was a horrible accident near Cheyenne, Wyoming, where all of my Mom's family lives. I was sitting peacefully on my bed at home with loved ones when I was aimlessly playing on Facebook. I saw a post from my cousin that sent chills up my spine. It was him asking for prayers for his Mother. It had no other information and I had one of those, gut hurting, feelings. I called my Mom, she was in a theater waiting to watch a movie with some friends. I asked her if she had heard anything that was going on. She hadn't and told me to call my Grandmother, as she couldn't. I texted another Aunt to see if she knew, when she didn't reply I called my Grandmother. After talking with her, she had no idea and told me she would call as soon as she found out. A few minutes later she called back in tears saying that my Aunt Liz was in a car accident and had just passed away. I couldn't believe my ears. Since I heard the news, I haven't been able to think of anything else. It makes me sick to think about what my Uncle Tony is going through right now, and their amazing 2 kids, Jared and Kara. Their spouses and the 2-almost-3 grand kids.

I didn't get to spend a whole lot of time with my Aunt Liz, as we lived hours and hours away, but I adored her. I looked forward to visiting Tony's house. I know this may not make any sense to most of you, but it will to our family. Liz and Kara always reminded me of spring colors. Strange? Maybe, but those two are the happiest people I know. They are not loud and happy, but soft, kind, and always serving with a smile. Liz loved her God, and it showed. I am so grateful for the knowledge I have of my God, and our Savior, Jesus Christ. I know she is in Heaven meeting her Creator, and he had open arms. She will get to spend a couple more weeks with her first granddaughter, who is due shortly. She will continue to look out for all, especially her Husband and Children and their families. I pray for the upcoming journey that will be hard, and full of tears, for my Uncle and family. Please keep them in their prayers, as they struggle to adjust to this new life.

Here is a picture of Tony and Liz (off Kara's FB): I love you both.